September 2012
August 2012
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fyeahcolinandryan:
hiddlesuave:
COLIN MOCHRIE AND TOM HIDDLESTON ARE TWEETING EACH OTHER
WHAT
I
JESUS FUCK
I am fangirling just a little…
applecorr:
oh my god
there’s a mr. potato head that’s outfitted like iron man
and they call him tony starch
i can’t
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The following quotations are taken from official...
Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
Witness: "I only have one, you know."
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Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
Witness: "By death."
Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
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Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
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Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
Witness: "July 15th."
Lawyer: "What year?"
Witness: "Every year."
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Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."
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Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
Witness: "Er...his face."
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Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
Witness: "I forget."
Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"
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Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
Witness: "Forty-five years."
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Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
Witness: "My name is Susan."
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Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
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Lawyer: "What happened then?"
Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
Witness: "No."
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Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
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Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
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Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
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Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
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Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
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Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
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Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
Witness: "That's me."
Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
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Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"
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Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
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Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
Witness: "None."
Lawyer: "Were there girls?"
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Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
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Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
Witness: "Borofkin."
Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
Witness: "I can't remember."
Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"
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Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
Witness: "No."
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Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."
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Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
Witness: "Yes sir."
Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"
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Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."
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Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"
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Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
Witness: "I could see his head."
Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
Witness: "Just above his shoulders."
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Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
Witness: "The victim lived."
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“As many as 50,000 Republicans and 15,000 members of the media are expected to...”
– - The Daily
No, this is not The Onion. Limbaugh is serious, and there are a whole lot of very stupid people who agree with him.
(via wilwheaton)
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Mitt Romney’s `just trust me’ campaign, explained. →
wilwheaton:
This is now the third area in which Romney has refused to share specifics on the explicit grounds that so doing would be bad politically for him. Romney has repeatedly said he won’t release his tax returns because Democrats will find things in them to attack. And he has vowed to eliminate whole government agencies, but has confirmed that he won’t specify which ones precisely because...
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I WANT TO LIVE IN A WORLD
Where Derek is a nice fluffy little fox living with a nice lady named Laura
And Stiles is a nice floppy little hound living with a grumpy lady named Kate with a gun
And they are secret besties slash maybe they’re kind of in puppy love?
BUT THEN THE FIRE (nationattacked) and Derek has to live in the wild and things go downhill for the little babies and then there’s a fight and...
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J writes the beginning of Teen Wolf S3
boxoftheskyking:
(Slow fade up on SCOTTs bedroom, 9am. Sunlight filtering in the windows. TLC’s “Waterfalls” starts. A sigh. Cut to MELISSA MCCALL’S face. She stands, hands on hips, looking affectionately down at the bed. Camera pans to SCOTT, filthy and covered in leaves, asleep and drooling. Slow pan down to STILES, also drooling, filthy, and bruised, with his head on SCOTT’s back. Cut back to...
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All Avengers Deleted Scenes + Gag Reel and Behind...
sashaforthewin:
ziracona:
For your viewing pleasure, here are (currently) working links to all three. Enjoy them whilest they exhist!
Avengers Alternate Opening: Opening
Avengers Alternate Ending: Ending
Avengers Deleted Bruce Scene: Bruce
Avengers Deleted Steve Scene: Steve
Avengers Deleted Nick Scene: Nick
Avengers Deleted Loki and Clint Scene: Loki and Barton
Avengers Behind the...
Sandi Toksvig on Education
aboutmaleprivilege:
“When I was a student at Cambridge I remember an anthropology professor holding up a picture of a bone with 28 incisions carved in it. “This is often considered to be man’s first attempt at a calendar” she explained. She paused as we dutifully wrote this down. ‘My question to you is this – what man needs to mark 28 days? I would suggest to you that this is woman’s first...
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Watch221b-stark-tower:
Since it has been deleted from YT and I still haven’t seen it on Tumblr
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Watch
Avengers Gag Reel
yellowhappyman:
wearing-sammy-to-the-prom:
do you ever get so far down in your dash that your computer starts getting slow and acting stupid and you’re like:
it’s time to resurface
i have a system ;D
teach me your waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaays
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Careful kids, beloved character death below
boxoftheskyking:
nininghasfeelings replied to your post: nininghasfeelings replied to your link: This is…
!!!!!! DO IT, DUDE. I WILL WAIT.
UGh. fine. Here. It’s not very good. But. fuck it.
——————
Stiles coughs, gut-deep with a splatter of red and black across the grey of the pavement. Derek can hear the low wheeze of a punctured lung, the bubble...
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1418 pages back
and i’m going back from now to… july 20ish
so fucked man
so fucked
lilajanet:
bucken-berry:
In the fanfiction writing system, grammatically-based offenses are considered especially heinous. On the internet, the dedicated proofreaders who find and correct these vicious grammar fails are members of an elite squad known as the Grammar Police. These are their stories.
#dun dun
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