Bored this summer? Build a TARDIS!
Infinitely faster than growing one.
Making a Simple Tardis Bookcase =============
~ $60 + 15 hours (lots of it in between waiting for paint/ wood glue to dry)
bill of material:
1. structural (use screws)
2 pcs - 11.25” x 0.75” x 18” (sold as 11.5” by 1”, cut to 18” at HomeDepot)
4 pcs - 11.25” x 0.75” x 36” (sold as 11.5” by 1”, cut to 36”)
24+ pcs - I used #6 x 1.25” (anything #6 - #10 and 1”+long would be fine)
1 pcs - 19” x 36” (backboard; can be cut from big 4’ by 8’ of of thin plywood)
2. top decoration (use wood glue)
2 pcs - 3.5” x 0.75” x 12” (sold as 3.75” by 1”, cut to 12”)
1 pcs - 3.5” x 0.75” x 19.5” (sold as 3.75” by 1”, cut to 19.5”)
1 pcs - 11.25” x 0.75” x 17.5” (sold as 11.5” by 1”, cut to 17.5”)
3. fine decoration (use wood glue)
6 pcs - 31.75” x 2” (cut from big plywood sheet)
12 pcs - 2.625” x 2” (same plywood. * I used 11/32” thickness, but any works)
4 pcs - 2.625” x 1” ( just break two of above into 4 pieces)
4. For the top tardis alarm light, I used a PVC pipe connected to a pipe cap
5. your choice of blue spray paint + wood glue
You can buy all these from HomeDepot, and get most of them cut for free there as well. Pictures are worth a thousand words, so I made some CAD drawing for anyone who wants to try this as a weekend project. Good Luck and Cheers!
Man, am I seeing some discussions on the Doctor’s lovelife on my dash right now, comparing his relationships with River and Rose, some using Dexter comparisons (Dexter/Rita for Rose, Dexter/Lumen for River).
What am I going to contribute? Shakespeare, cuz that’s how Tori rolls.
We’re going to talk about how Doctor/Rose is like Romeo and Juliet, and Doctor/River is like Anthony and Cleopatra, and then I’m going to wait for Kevo to come and punch me in the face for daring to come near his OTP with River.
The Doctor’s love for Rose (and how that love has been perceived by fans) is that of a “true love”. Perhaps even a “first love” depending on how you feel about Classic Who (which if we want to get into, Romana would bring us to a trio of R ladies, and I guess then we could talk about… I dunno, Much Ado? More research needed). Romeo and Juliet exhibit a similar type of innocent, all-consuming love. The Doctor after the Time War has been wandering on his own (presumably), and it is Rose that brings him back to life. Romeo has been loving in a superficial manner and it is Juliet’s love that brings him to a deeper understanding of love (put your own young love caveat here; this is a Shakespeare/Doctor Who discussion, and I’m not writing a dissertation aight). Together, each pair elevates their relationship to a place where no tarnishments or soilings can touch it, until disaster strikes. Death separates the one, space and time the other. The shock of losing Rose stays with the Doctor for a horribly long time; one could make the argument that if he didn’t have two hearts, he would have died from the broken one pretty quickly. This love is the perfect young love, verging on glorified puppy love (see: the second half of S2 for the sychronized joyous wriggling of the Doctor and Rose). Rose brings out the best in the Doctor, but in doing so places him on a pedestal, one that might not have withstood his later darker acts, the ones River gets to see. (TenII is given Rose to make him less dark, not because Rose would love him darkness be damned, though one could say that might be a side effect)
River and the Doctor on the other hand, are a little older, a little more experienced (early River/Melody Moffuckery aside), and a little more on even footing when it comes to who’s got all the cool near-omniscience. Much like Anthony and Cleopatra, these two are coming together knowing a lot more of each other’s faults, and knowing that a dalliance with the other is probably a terrible and complicated idea (though one could say that River, like Cleopatra, is willing to throw caution to the wind with abandon), and when disaster strikes, the two do not work together, but they are both able to come to the table with a plan of action (see: Pandorica). Anthony and Cleopatra is the adult version of Romeo and Juliet; just as turbulent, just as wild, but they’re not just playing with their own lives: Rome and Egypt hang in that balance (don’t believe me? go read that shit. there are nineteen scenes in act 4 because those bitches kept writing increasingly distressingly hysterical letters to one another of sex and intrigue and a bunch of messengers had to stand and wait for them to stop masturbating and stomping around to answer). Stakes have been getting steadily raised in the show since Rose’s time, and the Doctor and River Song are working with the knowledge that the universe is being held together by fingertips (see: that goddamn “wedding”). Anthony and Cleopatra ends with Cleopatra sacrificing herself in the hopes of letting Egypt get an easier deal; River ends up locked away so that the Doctor can restore the universe. Unlike Rose, River has the Doctor’s darker days and recognizes that they are a part of him, a part of his process, and she works to be a part of all of that.
Like many things, I recognize that all my arguments are full of holes. I’m not actually that attached to these ideas, so knock yourself out on telling me how wrong I am, I ain’t even mad.
I know, I know, but I am kind of in love with the IDEA of River Song.
Less the execution, but… eh, semantics.
Helps that Ms. Kingston is wildly attractive.
Don’t contradict me! Don’t disobey me! Don’t even think about marrying my raggedy Doctor, snogging him senseless, and later handcuffing him to the bars of your jail cell!
Stop telling me what to do. Don’t treat me like I’m only on regeneration #2.
I know that you want what’s best. But mother please, give it a rest.
Once upon a time, when I was kidnapped and replaced with a baby ganger clone, I had to grow up as an orphan on my own.
But murdering your dear best friend is what you won’t allow. ‘Cause Mama, I’m a big girl now!
Once upon a time, I used to be in your primary class. But now, I’d rather go around pinchin’ hot alien ass.
So if I get soniced, please don’t have a no-nosed Barcelona-style cow. ‘Cause Mama, I’m a big girl now!
Ma, I gotta tell you that without a doubt, I got my best shooting lessons from you.
You’re the one who taught me how to whore myself out. Because you snogged your damn son in-law, just like I did, too. Wo-oh-oh-oh;
Once I set up you and Dad, you gotta admit that was rad. But now I wanna set the Doctor between my legs, and I will make him beg!
So say ‘molto bene!’, ‘geronimo!’ and ‘spoilers!’ ‘Cause Mama, I’m a big girl now.
Mama, I’m a big girl now. Hey Mama, go sonic yourself, Mama.
Once upon a time, I was an often-jailed young thing, Couldn’t murder Hitler, nor make the TARDIS cloister bell ding.
But let me slap that Doctor, it’ll me him happy like wow. ‘Cause Mama, I’m a big girl now. Wo-oh-oh-oh.
Once upon a time, I used to wear an astronaut suit. But now that I’m a woman, I’d like to satisfy a Time Lord’s fruit.
And I don’t even need Captain Jack to show me how. ‘Cause Mama, I’m a big girl now.
Ma, you never got a chance to teach me what was right from wrong, and now who knows when I’ll die.
Mama, I’ve been in Stormcage not having much fun, so please let me travel with him and watch us run.
Watch us ru-un!
Hey Mama, say Mama. I’ve already met my man and he’s quite a gem. Spoilers, we’ll do some kinky things that you might condemn.
But let me travel to a literal gaseous porn star, before I go on down. ‘Cause Mama, I’m a big girl now!
Fab. Hairspray. River Song. Hairsong? River Spray?
How “The Wedding of River Song” would have gone down if River had a Sassy Gay Jack.
If you can identify all these characters above, we should always hang out! Watched the entire new season with TORI!!! Love her! And cannot get enough of the DW Universe!!
Love you too sweetie!
Can’t wait to talk to you about [spoilers!]
Damn you and your sexual innuendos Moffat and Davies!
Jack opens his mouth.
Rory, when declaring why House should keep Amy and him alive, mentions that he had a PE teacher who was into humiliation of others for personal amusement.
Interesting how in The God Complex, the first room the Doctor encounters is a similar situation.
Rory at the time was far enough back that perhaps he was not pulled into the sway of the room, or maybe he has grown past that fear?
Either way, iiiiiinteresting.
Sorry, but your Rose is in another universe.